I always wind up deleting the blog posts that I take the most time to write. The ones that require a lot of effort and thinking to compose a decent piece of writing so others can read it and know I’m not dead, that I have feelings and emotions. It’s so exhausting- tiring because I have a stack of pdfs to finish reading. It doesn’t make me any more well-learned or more knowledgeable in the utmost simplistic styles of communication. I don’t know why this article was assigned or for what purpose, but the content does match to the key concepts in the other articles for my two other classes. Highlighter, check. Paperback course packet, check. Bottle of Evian water, check. (The 1 L kind, you know, the one that you drink because you buy into the belief that you need to keep drinking water, not to only hydrate yourself but to keep yourself alive in the midst of reading for a profession that you might not even have)… what career field is that? I can’t even think about that. I’m in the zone of applying to all the places that have some level of communication with the outside world. Sounds just like almost every place you know? Except they don’t want me. So guess what? I’m going to start my own business. My own virtual space to make money and send it back to pay back my education aka student loans. I might delete this post later for the sake of not stepping up my A-game writing it. These are the thoughts inside my head. I ramble on and on because I don’t want to complain to another person about these problems that I shouldn’t be having. Noone can tell me to not have these issues but I can’t fully understand the implications of not working and making money. I’m not happy but most of what i have is paid for already. I’m just not happy because I’m not being fully utilized. I want to make a contribution to society. I’ve been asking these large companies to provide me with a opportunity, why not just work on creating these opportunities, myself?!?! I will find out what I want to do on the internet… besides blog and scare people away from reading the longest post they’ll encounter in the day. No facts, semi-solid knowledge about life, and just a graduate student whining about my current circumstances while the rest of the world is suffering, starving and willing to sacrifice their all to have a quarter of what I have.

I deserve what I have. But I want to use my resources and what I know, to make a real contribution to someone else’s life. How. Do. I. Get. Started. I need answers.

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